Optical Allusionist

So... not a very original title (Green Day sang a song called "When September Ends") but very fitting, nonetheless.

It all started on a stormy night, or during a sunny midday. Whichever you prefer. I came to an intersection, but I didn't have a stop, so I continued on... until I hit the guy who decided the stop sign didn't apply to him. I wrecked my car, but didn't leave a dent. (i hit his elevated, humongo tire) We exchanged info, and I drove back home. During the crash, I'd hit my head on the edge of the visor. I had work the next morning at my new job... where they assigned me a different job than they'd interviewed (or than i had applied) for. However, due to the head injury, I didn't wake up until well after work had begun! Augh! I called and explained, and the encouraged me to get plenty of rest. The next day I went in, but was very light-headed, nauseous, and headachey. The wreck was September 3rd. I traveled down to Price that weekend for Labor day, feeling fine by the time I had to take the drive. I had a great time, but I had a tough time getting my body to be able to travel the entire way back up the canyon. So... I talked with my boss, and we decided that this was not the job for me-- for a few reasons. 1) I'd been a blechy employee the past several days. 2) i couldn't care for the autistic kid the in the way he needed, 3) They needed to find someone who could do what they needed for Eric, 4) They'd cheated me into this job.

So, I was out of a job... But no big deal. I'll call Canyon View, they'll hire me right now. And so I did, and I became a janitor. The coming Friday, I was getting my wisdom teeth out. That weekend was very drowsy and painful. The pain pills they gave me were making me throw up, which was re-opening the wounds at the back of my mouth. Eventually, I got on another pain meds, Philegren, Phenegran, or something like that, and they totally knocked me out. Totally! I was dooowwwn. The pain was, aherm, a pain. And... needless to say, with all this... I missed another three days at work, and had to leave early on the next Thursday. The next Monday, I lost my job. They needed someone more dependent. ...Really, I am a good employee. Just bad luck this month.

Oh, speaking of which. I already talked about Gregory, my friend... My name is the Lorax, I speak for the trees? Off and on mourning. Please be understanding. Gregory was my friend. I loved to speak to him. There was something about his personality that let me be comfortable with who I was. Because he loved me for exactly who I was.

But, really, this time, speaking of bad luck: I got pulled over going 38 in a 25. 13... bad idea. but not 16? Idk, anyway, I got pulled over, and got a warning on the speeding, but when the policeman ran my driver's license through the system, it came back denied, due to "undocumented medical reasons." I was like, "wth?!" I had no idea, but, as I began to drive away, I realized, "daaaang.... it's those psychiatric medicines i'm taking." The DMV had sent a paper saying "fill out everything you can about your Zoloft intake" and I... okay, so this was really stupid, but, I decided that this was optional. So, I never sent it in. :P And, now I have a 100 dollar fine. But, even better, I don't have the money (yet) and so I can't pay it off, and until it is paid off, I will (as of Oct 13th) have a warrant out for my arrest. Wow. This is so grandy, I love it.

So, remember when I got hit? Or, actually, I hit a car, but it was his fault? Yeah, this guy decided that he didn't want to pay, so the ins. number he gave me was his ex-wife's. Who doesn't have contact with him. (Can you see why?) So, nobody can contact him, not her insurance, not my insurance, not us (he won't answer the phone numero he gave) and so, these are the options... so far

1) Find him.
2) Sell car to dump, use that money to pay off debt on car, continue to pay off remaining debt on car.
3) Repair car ourselves. which would be expensive
4) Don't repair it. Car doesn't pass coming inspection.

I vote for #1. ? Any opposition?

Okay, and let's set the record straight. Kellie and I are *not* together. We are only really, really, really, really, really close. Okay? Yes, we call each other honey. I call my cat "honey", and "babe", and "love", but that doesn't make bestial. So leave it alone. Get it? Got it? Good!!

I've been going to church, but for the past year I've had extreme difficulties with anxiety, for reasons left unsaid, and being at church. I've been working with my bishopric to figure out what I can do, what they can do, and all. I go, and I do what I can. So, y'know what? I know you're concerned that I'm not attending all my meetings, but there is a part of me that is not yet ready. Leave. Me. Alone. I am trying. It is between me and the Lord, and I know that you love me, and I know that you want the best for me, and I know that you don't want me to fall into Satan's clutches, and I know you're not sure to believe me when I say "I'm doing all that I can do" but I think, as the bishop is happy with my attendance, it is none of your business to be offended or bothered that I don't stay the entire block. Guess what? I don't appreciate it when you post a note on Facebook talking about how you have been bothered that I'm not going to church, when it was you I sacrificed for to stay with you during relief society. Did you lie to me so that you could get me to stay, so I could fit into your idea of what I have to be doing right now? Why did you tell me you needed someone to sit by, and then, when I do, say publicly that it bugs you I'm not coming? I wasn't doing okay that Sunday, and I stayed for you, and only you. Because I wanted to be the friend I want you to be for me. And you wonder why I'm mad at you? See if I stay because you "need me" again. If I'm having trouble... well, the hell to you. You really, really hurt me. I am trying. Now, leave me alone.

Okay... now that I've ranted to those that 1) have a problem with the the idea that Kellie and I, and our friendship, do not fit social norms, and 2) that I am not at church for the whole dang time. Now that I've done that, I just want to say how happy I am that it is October. The past several days, life's been catching up to me. I feel... sick all the time, and miserable most of the time. I'm throwing up, I'm shaking, I'm weak, I'm .... I'm so tired. I've been productive, I've been with family, with friends, but... :P

Kay. One amazing thing about September. I love, love, love, love, love, love having Kevin, Kaylene, and the three boys here. Can you guys stay? Please? I love you guys. it is so good to see my brother, my sister, and my nephews. I love them. :)

Okay. That's a happy note, right?