"He who neglects what is done for what ought to be done, sooner effects his ruin than his preservation." - Machiavelli, The Prince
I Can Almost Promise You
Author: Jack
This is like nothing you've -- I have ever been through. This is harder than anything I've done before, and hurting more and confusing more because it isn't something life threatening. I feel very alone, and unsure where to turn. Which is funny, considering the situation. I pray, ponder, study and read my scriptures, but this is harder. I think I'm really angry. I'm not sure whom. At me, at my friends, at family, at God, at the country, at me. At God. Angry at all the contradictions I'm hearing. Angry at the things I'm seeing, hearing, and how they affect my life.
I just want to be me. How do I know who I am? Is it what I want? What I do? What I like? Dislike? Where I'm from? What I buy? What I read? What I write? Is it what belief systems I follow? Is it who I desire? What I could do? What I have done? What I stand up for? What I don't stand up for? Who I become friends with? Which country I live in? Which state I live in? Which county I live in? The intelligent things I say? The idiotic things I say? My kind moments? My rude moments?
Who am I?
I am a Daughter of God.
But who am I that sets me apart from everyone. What defines ME, not just who I am as a human being, but who I am as me? Is this it? And if it is, should I stick to who I am, or leave?
Maybe not everything that's a part of us is supposed to be accepted.
Wanna know a secret? David Dunn is breakable. And so am I.
I don't know what to tell you. I don't envy your super active mind sometimes though. You tend to over analyze instead of just living sometimes. Sometimes it's really nice to just live, just act and react in a way that feels right without analyzing every possibility. I really enjoy my ability to just meditate and let go when I need to. I don't know how to help you find some of that though. (((HUGS))) Love you little Sis.