Optical Allusionist

In a recent post, I wrote

Not only have I taken my name off the records of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (the Mormon/LDS Church), but I have come across information that leads me to view the specific religion in an unfavorable light. It is about the abuse, the past and present oaths in the secret ceremonies in the temple, the purposeful cover-ups by Church leadership of Church history that continue today, the finances and manipulation within the finances, the history of ethnocentrism, xenophobia, racism, sexism, heterosexism, cysgenderism, it is about the manipulation within so-called "loving" teachings, the lies, and the "love"-cloaked hatred. I understand that these are severe accusations, and if anyone would like specifics, they are welcome to message me. Let it be understood: I am not discussing the people of "the Church" or the culture of Utah, although I believe it is highly influenced by "the Church". I am discussing specific doctrines, specific events in Church history, specific actions and words of leaders, specific beliefs and ideologies supported by high leadership and doctrines within "the Church". I am appalled at my contributions to such an organization as this.

I've decided to supply some links that will point to the truth of my accusations. If you do not want to find out what I'm talking about, please do not read any further.

If you are interested in discussing what I've written, I'd be happy to. I want to believe the truth, and only believe these things because they match proof I have found. I want to be honest, and this is the way, I think, I can be honest without hurting too many people... without lurching too many people from their rabbit holes. I've heard that you cannot reason someone out of a belief they did not reason themselves into.

Keep in mind that some of these sites are more diplomatic than others. On occasion, the people who write are angry, or grieving because of their personal connections to Mormonism. It is a painful experience to discover that an organization that surrounded each aspect of your life was lying to you, an organization that seeps into every part of your life, your family, your friends, your beliefs, etc. This does not mean that the things that they have found are not true. Try and keep an open mind.

Also keep in mind that I do not believe what I have posted is anti-Mormon. I believe that something is anti-Mormon if it will tear down Mormonism at any cost, even if they have to lie to do it. I am pro-truth... and if the truth works against the Mormon Church, then that is what the truth does.

And, lastly, why? Why do I waste my time writing this? Because I want people to know the truth. I don't want people to be lied to, and I want to make it easy, an easy resource for those considering why they are Mormon.


To start out, I will recommend three books I have read.


No Man Knows My History
A biography of Joseph Smith. Very well documented. Highly recommended

Standing for Something More
The story of the excommunication of Lyndon Lamborn after the things he found out about LDS Church History

Studies of the Book of Mormon
BH Roberts' studies of the Book of Mormon



Here are some sites you can visit to start out with. I'll order these from most reliable to least reliable.


Mormonthink

I have found this to be an incredibly reliable, very well-documented site that addresses several different issues with the Mormon Church.


Post Mormon

A site for Mormons, ex-Mormons, and non-Mormons to discuss issues


USU Shaft

A blog of atheists, agnostics, free-thinkers, secular-humanists. I included it because the posts often discuss Mormonism.


USU Shaft: Why I Don't Believe

A series of blog posts that cover a handful of specific reasons the writer left Mormonism


33 Reasons Why I Left

33 Reasons why one person left Mormonism


Recovery From Mormonism

A site for Mormons, ex-Mormons, and non-Mormons to discuss issues


Lyndon Lamborn

Lyndon Lamborn, an excommunicated former Mormon writes about his experiences, includes a timeline he set up of Church history


Why We Left

Personal accounts of why members left Mormonism


Questioning Mormonism

A blog that discusses issues within Mormonism


Rethinking Mormonism

A site that collects quotes from Church leaders and experiences from Church members


Mormon Curtain

Occasionally jumbled, always angry expressions of frustration over issues in the Church



Sites that Discuss Church History or Contain a Time Line of Church History

PBS: The Mormons (Timeline)

Timeline from the two part PBS series "The Mormons"


Great Moments in Mormon History

Other than a couple indescrepancies, the timeline here is fairly accurate


Lyndon Lamborn's Timeline

Under Lyndon Lamborn's Writings can be found a downloadable timeline. Other than the wording concerning Joseph Smith's death (i.e. calling it a gunfight), the timeline is historically accurate


Mormon LDS History

A collection of links concerning LDS History, some more accurate than others



Finances, Including the Issue of Tithing

Tithing in the LDS Church

Mormon Think's discussion of tithing, and the finances of the LDS Church


The Gospel of Redistribution

An interesting blog discussing why Mormons should believe in the redistribution of wealth


Homosexuality

LDS Newsroom: Homosexuality

The LDS Newsroom's most recent response to questions concerning homosexuality.


Homosexuality & Mormonism

An essay concerning the history of homosexuality and sodomy and their connections to Mormonism


"To Young Men Only"

An address by Boyd K. Packer, an LDS apostle, to young priesthood-holding men about the dangers of masturbation, and the dangers of homosexuals and homosexuality... and how to deal with them.


Talk to the All-Church Coordinating Council

An address by Boyd K. Packer, an LDS apostle, to leaders of young adults and teenagers concerning leadership within the Church, and three great threats to the Church: homosexuals, feminists, and intellectuals


Quotes from LDS Leaders Concerning Homosexuality

Though not well documented, look up the quotes on the internet, and you will find them to be accurate.


Prop 8 Timeline

A timeline of the Church's involvement in California's proposition 8


Gay Mormon History

A discussion of Mormonism's involvement in gay issues


Monogamy & Homosexuality

A comparison of the similarities between quotes from the prophets concerning the perils of both homosexuality and monogamy.


Homosexuality: A Psychiatrist's Response to LDS Social Services

A psychiatrist's response to an LDS Social Services pamphlet concerning how to help people with homosexual "problems"


Mormons & Homosexuality

A discussion of Mormonism and its views on homosexuality


Mormonism's Position on Homosexuality

Another discussion of Mormonism and its views on homosexuality


Other Quotes and Talks from LDS Leaders

Lying for the Lord

A list of different events, topics, doctrines that the leaders of the LDS Church continue to deliberately hide at worst, simply not mention at best.


Mormon Prophets After Joseph Smith

A discussion of the role of the prophet


LDS Leaders

A collection of links concerning Mormon leaders


Leading His People Astray

A blog post I wrote, compiling a list of quotes, talks, and doctrines about the hypothetical infallibility of the leaders


Elder Russell M Nelson & Atheism

Russell M Nelson, an LDS apostle, addresses the dangers of atheism and atheists


Beware the Bitter Fruits of Apostacy

Quotes from LDS Leaders concerning the dangers of apostacy


Did They Really Say That?

Quotes from LDS leaders on a variety of subjects


Best & Worst of Mormon Quotes

As the title suggests... comments included


Racism

Blacks and the Priesthood

A discussion of the racism within the LDS Church, particularly concerning black men not being allowed the priesthood (or the ability to attend the temple) based on their race


First Presidency Response to Dr. Lowry Nelson

I usually wouldn't add such a sketchy looking site, but I have read a hard copy of the exchange, and this site matches what I read.


Manuscripts of Lowry Nelson

Where you can find the exchange between Dr. Lowry Nelson and the leadership of the Church concerning "the Negro race" and interracial marriage


Racism in Mormon History & Doctrine

A discussion of racism in Mormon history & doctrine


Mormon Racism in Perspective

Quotes from Mormon leaders, including a talk by Mark E Peterson


Racism in the LDS Church

One more resource for information about racist history, quotes and doctrines within the LDS Church


The Book of Abraham

The Book of Abraham

A discussion concerning the true origins of the Book of Abraham, canonized Mormon scripture


The Book of Abraham

Another discussion concerning the true origins of the Book of Abraham


The Kinderhook Plates & the Greek Psalter Incident

The Kinderhook Plates

A discussion on the false translation of "the Kinderhook plates" by Joseph Smith


Greek Psalter Incident

A discussion on the false translation of the Greek psalter by Joseph Smith


The Kinderhook Plates

Another discussion on the false translation of "the Kinderhook plates" by Joseph Smith


The Book of Mormon

Book of Mormon Difficulties

A discussion of the difficulties of the Book of Mormon (i.e. impossible events in the BoM, the Anthon visit, lack of important Mormon doctrine, changes in BoM, etc)


A Linguist Looks at Book of Mormon

A discussion of linguistic problems in the Book of Mormon.


Translation of Book of Mormon

A discussion of problems or inconsistencies in what the Church teaches about the translation of the Book of Mormon


Book of Mormon Historicity

A senior thesis concerning the Book of Mormon historicity


Lost 116 Pages

A discussion of the lost 116 pages of the original translation of the Book of Mormon


The Witnesses of the Book of Mormon

A discussion concerning the witnesses' testimony of the Book of Mormon


Joseph Smith's Ability

A discussion concerning the ability of Joseph Smith-- Could he have written the Book of Mormon?


Spiritual Abuse

Healing Spiritual Abuse

A community that seeks to heal spiritual abuse. This is a list of signs of spiritual abuse.


Wikipedia: Spiritual Abuse

What wikipedia has to say about spiritual abuse


Signs of Spiritual Abuse

Some more signs of spiritual abuse


The Mantle is Far Greater Than the Intellect

An address to members of the Church by Boyd K Packer about how the leader's access to revelation is greater than anything the member could ever deduce or find. Boyd K Packer also said that Church history that doesn't make the Church look better isn't useful.


The Lord Will Never Permit the Living Prophet to Lead the Church Astray

A lesson in an institute manual concerning the leaders infallibilities


Churches That Abuse

A transcript of the book "Churches That Abuse"


A Dialogue on Spiritual Abuse

A transcript of a discussion I had with my friend about spiritual abuse. Thoughts are welcomed.


8 Signs of Aberrational Bible-Based Group

8 different signs of an aberrational Christian or Bible-based group


What Harm Has Mormonism Done?

A response to the question "What harm has Mormonism done?"


Recovery From Spiritual Abuse

A site that hopes to help people recover from spiritual abuse.


Stop Spiritual Abuse

A discussion of spiritual abuse, with a secondary focus on the United Pentacostal church


Polygamy

Mormon Polygamy

A discussion of the polygamy within the early history of the Mormon church


Polygamy Timeline

A timeline of the polygamy within the early history of the Mormon church


Joseph Smith & Polygamy

A list of links concerning Joseph Smith & polygamy in the early history of the Church


Sexism

Roles of Women in the Church

A discussion of the roles of women in the LDS Church


Gender Roles & Sexism in the Church

A list of things for men to think about... Would they join a church that treated men like this?


From Mormon Patriarchy to Personal Peace

Mary Ann Benson's story of how she came to leave Mormonism


On Patriarchy and Patriarchs

The post's not much to look at, but the comments express more what I'm looking at


Sexism in the Mormon Church

A discussion of the sexism in the Mormon Church


Feminism's Threat to LDS Church

An address by Boyd K. Packer, an LDS apostle, to leaders of young adults and teenagers concerning leadership within the Church, and three great threats to the Church: homosexuals, feminists, and intellectuals. He discusses feminism... in terms of a woman wanting to leave her abusive priesthood-holding husband.


Strengthening the Patriarchal Order

LDS magazine, the Ensign, discusses how to strengthen the power of the husband/father in the home.


Sexuality

Mormon Essays on Sex & the Family

13 essays on different aspects of mormonism and sexuality


LDS Mormon Sex & Sexuality

A list of links concerning experiences with LDS sexual oppression.


LDS Sex Test

A test to take, to see if you've been sexually oppressed.


Mormon Sex History

A clearer history of sexuality in the Mormon Church


Sexuality in the Modern Mormon Church

A discussion on influences of polygamy on sexuality within the contemporary Mormon experience


Sex Abuse Within the Mormon Church

How the Mormon Church deals with sex abuse victims...


Healing the Tragic Scar of Abuse

A talk by Elder Richard G Scott concerning abuse. For someone who has a connection with the omniscient Almighty, Elder Scott doesn't seem to know some crucial things about abuse. For instance? The victim is not responsible for the abuse.


Boyd K Packer's Address Concerning Masturbation

Boyd K Packer, an LDS apostle, discusses the perils of masturbation.


History of Masturbation

An anonymous author writes concerning the history of masturbation


Temples

Transcripts of Endowment Ceremonies:

PDF of Transcripts

Audio Recording of Endowment Ceremony

Audio of the Two Recordings of Endowment Ceremony

1984 Transcript of Endowment Ceremony

1990 Transcript

Another 1990 Transcript


LDS Temple Endowment Ceremony

A site that has information of all the temple endowments, since early Kirtland


Mormon Temple Endowment

A collection of links concerning the Mormon Temple Endowment


Comparison Between the Temple Endowments

A comparison of the endowment ceremonies, the changes


The Mormon Temple

A discussion of the issues surrounding the Mormon temple, inside & out


Mormon Temples & Temple Rituals

A discussion of the rituals and meanings surrounding the temple.


The LDS Temple Ceremony

A discussion concerning the temple ceremonies


Mormon Temple Changes

Another comparison of the changes of the Mormon temple endowments


First Vision

Joseph Smith's First Vision

A discussion concerning the indescrepancies of the different accounts of Joseph Smith's first vision


A Discussion of the Various Accounts

A discussion concerning the various accounts of the first vision


Unreliability of Spiritual Experiences

Testimony & Spiritual Experiences

A discussion of Mormon doctrine concerning testimony, the "truth test" and spiritual experiences


The Unreliability of Spiritual Experiences

A discussion concerning the unreliability of spiritual experiences.


Confirmation Bias

What we can learn from confirmation bias


Conflicts with Science and Mormonism

Conflicts found between Mormonism and science


Free Will

Free will is an illusion, biologists say

There is a man who has contributed to changing "the way humanity views itself" in ways humanity itself does not yet understand (Brians). Although his theories are not as popular as they have been previously, many psychologists have used and still use his methods and theories in therapy and elsewhere. Dr. Cornelia Wilbur, the psychoanalyst of Sybil Dorsett, is one of these many successful therapists (Sybil: The Art of Shirley Mason). This vociferous group does not understand the meanings of, and the truth within Sigmund Freud's beliefs. Next to Marx, the presumed inventor of the communist economic system, this man is one of the most misunderstood men of our time.
Born into the Victorian era, this man lived in a time where sex was suppressed, oppressed, and repressed. When he began to hypothesize concerning theories that directly and indirectly claimed we all were sexual human beings, opposition roared against him. This opposition has become a tradition, passed generation to generation. Often people hear the mention of this man, and loudly proclaim him a fraud and a pervert.

Because of Freud's focus on pleasure and sex, he's thought of as a fraud, but there is much truth to his basic teachings. His therapy and personality theory reflects and focuses on the unconscious and self. His psychosexual stages of development have the purpose of pointing out our pleasure-seeking nature, and accurately depict how one could be affected by a block of progression. Neither his sexual focus, nor his chauvinism make him ignorant of how our unconscious affects our everyday lives.

Freud uses the arts of free association, dream interpretation, Freudian slips, and emphasized the importance of childhood experiences and unconscious thoughts in therapy (Freud File). Another important aspect of therapy with Freud was his personality theory. A Freudian slip is an "extreme simple slip" that more accurately represents unconscious opinions. Free association occurs when the client tells the therapist anything and everything that comes to their mind, no matter how seemingly trivial or embarrassing. His dream interpretations reflect his belief that "dreams are the royal road to the unconscious" (Freud, Interpretation of Dreams). The art of therapy he used focused heavily on the unconscious part in each of us.

His personality theory dealt heavily again with the unconscious. There are, he said, three major parts of each personality. These are the Id, the Superego, and the Ego. The Id is the part of our personality that looks out for us, with no thought to others. It tells us we should eat because we're hungry, or sleep because we're tired. The Superego is the part of our personality that looks out for others, with no thought to ourselves. Often, it's referred to as our conscience. The Ego is the balancer of the Superego and the Id. It directs us to food, without having to steal it in order to obtain. Both the Superego and the Id are extremes, and without the Ego, we would be nonexistent.

A plausible argument concerning free association is that the client may say something in order to lead the therapist, or that they may skip things that come to mind, and there will be no way to tell. Although this happens, it is neither true free association, nor can it last. Eventually the client will say something that will reveal a part of him or herself that is needed for more effective therapy.

There are those who believe that Freud's dream interpretations are too wild because they deal so heavily with sex, pleasure, and the reproductive system. Dreams, however, are a reflection of the unconscious. They provide, whether through explicit or symbolic material, "material which is in part neither remembered nor used in the activities of waking thought" (Freud, Interpretation of Dreams). When the society is either extremely suppressing or extremely encouraging a certain aspect of life, it will show up in your unconscious beacon: your dreams. Of course, in the words of Freud himself, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" (Brainy Quote).

Another problem many have with his methods of therapy was one Jung, Freud's former good friend and avid Freudian, discovered he himself had opposing view to. Many see Freud's therapy and personality theory as selfish and self-centered.

Freud and Jung's relationship was congenial until Jung hypothesized something further when he figured out for himself that "dreams can eventually be reduced to certain basic patterns" (Jung). Freud had already adopted Jung as a son, which left Jung livid, and so the relationship had been tense, but once Freud figured out that Jung was breaking away from the mainstream of his beliefs, he had very little tolerance for his former friend (Crowe). Jung eventually broke off the relationship.

Jung discovered something he coined the "collective unconscious"- the idea that while we each have a superficial personal unconscious, there is a link that connects the universe, particularly through symbols, thus the collective unconscious (Kazley). However, it seems that Jung misunderstood Freud's motives. Freud focused on the self, as he only had one client in the room at a time. He believed that "self-awareness was a part of becoming a better, stronger, richer human being" (Karen Horney). His focus was on the self, while Jung's focus was on the universe. Both were worthy causes, and eventually helped each other.

Freud's hypotheses on the psychosexual stages of development, and the problems resulting from a blocking of progression is another theory many have an issue with. The basic teaching of the theory is that we are pleasure-seeking individuals, and if at any stage of development our progression is blocked, then it will affect the continuing stages. These five stages are the oral, anal, phallic, latent, and genital stages.

The oral stage begins at birth. We seek pleasure through our mouth- often through breastfeeding . You will often find as well that at this time the baby will grab at anything surrounding him or her and put it in her mouth. This stage usually lasts until the child is around eighteen months, at which time the anal stage begins. The anal stage occurs when the child has grown more muscle and begins to find that they can begin to control their defecation and urination. Around this time, potty training begins. There is pleasure in releasing waste, and the warmth associated with it.

The phallic stage usually covers ages three to six. In this stage, the child begins to recognize the difference between the sexes, often connecting themselves in relation to a parent. It is usually a time when one concerns one's self with the discovery of the genitals. This concentration on gender identity often occurs in relation to the Oedipus complex, or the Electra complex with girls, another of Freud's theories. This complex concerns itself with the competition between same-sex parent relationships, and the contrasting loving relationship with the opposite-sex parent child relationships. The son may feel in competition with the father for the mother's love, or the daughter may feel in competition with the mother for the father's love.

In the latent stage of development- usually ranging from around ages six to twelve- the child either feels no sexual attraction, or decides to show none.

The last stage- the genital stage- occurs when puberty hits. The child will then attempt to search for partners, potentially sexual partners. This last stage lasts for the rest of one's life.

Freud tells us that if one of these stages comes up against resistance, it may affect the rest of the stages, possibly even the progression from one stage to the next. For instance, if the child is weaned too early, they may feel dependent or mistrusting for many years into adulthood. This would be a result of a disturbance in the oral stage of development. On the other hand, if there were to be disturbances in the anal stage, such as aggravating potty training, a need or a sense of control might grow, making adults what we know now as "anal", a term used to describe someone as controlling. If, during the phallic stage, something were to happen to block progression, then there might be an unhealthy preoccupation with sex later in life, or an undying hate for the same-sex parent. And if, during the latent stage, the child were to have some sexual affection forced upon them, there is a possibility that they may remain stuck in an impotent state. Freud actually believed that "every neurosis results from premature sexual activity" (Freud, Beyond the Pleasure Principle).

There are many who say the psychosexual stages of development focus too much on the sexual aspect of life. In fact, Freud meant them not only as sex-seeking stages, but as pleasure seeking stages. Pamornpol Jinachitra, an analyzer of Freud's pleasure principle, put it into perspective.

The concept of sexuality has been given an extension from Freud. Firstly, it is divorced from its close connection with genitals to concentrate rather on the purpose of achieving pleasure. It is only secondary to serve as the means to reproductive function.


We are naturally pleasure-seeking individuals, and the fact that Freud's psychosexual stages of development had to do with sex is only part of it. The pleasure can also be associated with basic pleasures gained from these stages: eating, releasing, or learning, for example. We do find fascination with basic pleasures, as well as, due to the fact that we are sexual human beings, sexual pleasures.

There are those that say these stages are too deterministic. Determinism is the idea that whatever happens to you as a child will determine who you will become. The more accurate phrase would be "influencism". Influencism, similar to determinism, is the idea that whatever happens to you as a child will greatly influence who you will become as an adult. Of course, there are exceptions to any rule, which is why, although determinism is nearly accurate.

Last of all, Freud's focus on misogyny and sex make people feel as though this defeats the brilliancy of his theories. America's Victorian attitude concerning open discussion of sex is reflected in our controversy over sex education is schools. A school poll reflected this conflict over whether sex education ought to be taught, and if so, in what way. Some believe it shouldn't be taught at all, while others think it could be taught, but only if taught in a certain way. The predicament? No one can decide which way would be best (Kaiser). This is an example of our "Victorian sexuality".

The term "Victorian sexuality" is well put, and a term becoming more and more associated with America. It urges "a self that [is] focused on self-control, suppression of sexual urges, and denial of women's sexual feeling" (Horowitz). In this state, it becomes harder to accept anything that goes against such a strong conviction. This makes it harder to accept Freud's openness concerning sex and the body. Our culture has reflected our views on Freud through a movie meant to mock Freud's over- erotic way of thinking. "The Pervert's Guide to the Cinema" is led around by a psychologist who has the opportunity to "show" the viewer all the things in the cinema that are obviously based off of the pleasure principle. Nevertheless, it is important to remember once again that Freud was focusing on the pleasure principle more than the sexual principle.

His chauvinistic attitude also strikes a cord with many people. Misogyny does not cancel out brilliancy. Karen Horney, a large defender against Freud's chauvinism, still agreed with portions of his theories. One of the issues people have with Freud is that he experimented entirely on boys and men. He hadn't thought that they would have been any different then women, and so decided to test them, leaving all of his answers for a male world. However, there is still much truth to Freud's discoveries because the discoveries are general enough, and with enough truth benefiting both sexes, that they can be applied to the general female population as well as that of the male population.

Another main concern is about Freud's penis envy. Karen Horney, again, was a major battler of this theory. In her own words, she said "Freud was really detecting... women's justified envy of men's power in the world" (Karen Horney). In other words, Freud's penis envy- the literal envy a woman holds for a penis- would have been more appropriately termed 'power envy'. Ms. Horney also speculated over "womb envy", a male counterpart to penis/power envy (Boeree). Both envies would be a coveting over what each sex could not have, that the other sex could.

A last point concerning Freud's chauvinism: women would come to him in therapy with stories of sexual abuse, but he would deem them not important enough to trifle with, and push to cover the next topic. This point could be better understood if the contender were to learn more about Freud's hypotheses. Like was said earlier, he believed that "every neurosis result[ed] from premature sexual activity, mainly child molestation, in childhood.." His rejection, then, was a reflection of his belief that the abuse had to be severe enough for it to cause problems. So, when a woman would come to him with stories of sexual abuse that he didn't think were sever enough, he would dismiss it, thinking there could be no permanent damage. The prologue to his book Beyond the Pleasure Principle states it quite clearly, though, that Freud was not limited to an extreme.

Freud never claimed that sexual abuse did not exist. He had patients who he knew had

not imagined the assaults they reported. All he abandoned when he abandoned the

seduction theory was the sweeping claim that only the rape of a child, whether a boy or a

girl, by a servant, and older sibling, or a classmate, could be the cause of neurosis.

It must be remembered that Freud was not so limited in his thinking as the times and culture around him encouraged. Although limited to a point in his thinking, Sigmund Freud was quite generous in contrast.

Sigmund Freud was neither ignorant nor brash. His brilliancy cut through a culture of oppression. Although our culture today still has doubts concerning Freud's sexual over-enthusiasm, some day we will join together to notify the world of his intelligence. They have chosen to not stretch forth, as a society, to embrace his beliefs, partially in fear that, as Freud himself attained to, "it might be said of psychoanalysis that if you give it your little finger, it will soon have your whole hand" (Non Stop English). In contrast with popular, ignorant beliefs, Freud is brilliant. He is brilliant to bring up the things no one dared to. When the culture suppresses a certain aspect of life, it becomes more difficult to speculate about it. When there are few before you who have explored your ideas, it is difficult to decide what is fact, and what is fiction. His chauvinism is narrow-minded, but does not make him ignorant in a broader scale. His focus on sex,ironically, turns his audience off, giving them a self-justified excuse to call him a "sicko" and turn away from a great truth. Freud is one of the most brilliant, and yet, sadly, one of the most misunderstood men of our time.




REFERENCES


Boeree, Dr. C. George. "Karen Horney". 2006. http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/horney.html


Brainy Quote, http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/sigmundfre125397.html


Brians, Paul, "Sigmund Freud: The Interpretation of Dreams". 1998. Washington State University.

http://www.wsu.edu/~wldciv/world_civ_reader/world_civ_reader_2/freud.html


Crowe, Lauri Jean. Suite 101: Enter Curious. "Relating Freud to Jung". November 1, 1999.

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/science_of_dreams/24734


Freud File. "Psychoanalysis- Techniques and Practices." 2006.

http://www.freudfile.org/psychoanalysis/.


Freud, Sigmund. Beyond the Pleasure Principle. 1959


Freud, Sigmund. The Interpretation of Dreams. 1965.


Horowitz, Helen Lefkowitz. WNYC New York Public Radio. "Rereading Sex: Battles Over Sexual

Knowledge and Suppression in Nineteenth-Century America". 2002.

http://www.wnyc.org/books/5759


Jinachitra, Pamornpol. "Sigmund Freud's Infantile Sexuality and the Role in the Genesis of the

Neuroses of Adults and in the Psychology of Normal Adults".

http://www.stanford.edu/~pj97/SigmundF.htm


Jung, Carl. Man and His Symbols, 1968.


Kaiser, Kennedy, NPR. "Sex Education in America." 2004.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1622610


"Karen Horney". Webster University. 2001. http://www.webster.edu/~woolflm/horney.html.


Kazlev, M. Alan. Kheper. "Jung's Conception of the Collective Unconscious". 2004.

http://www.kheper.net/topics/Jung/collective_unconscious.html


Non Stop English, "Quotations Database."

http://www.nonstopenglish.com/reading/quotations/k_Psychoanalysis.asp.


Stevenson, B. David. "Freud's Psychosexual Stages of Development". Brown University. 2001.

http://www.victorianweb.org/science/freud/develop.html


Sybil: The Art of Shirley Mason. 2003. http://www.sybil.biz/collection.php


Zizek, Slavoj. "The Pervert's Guide to the Cinema". 2006. http://www.thepervertsguide.com/

January 12, 2008


I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Without school or work in the morning (until next Tuesday when I start working a second job for the mornings) I've had a lot of time for it-- thinking, that is. Thinking about me. About where I want to be at various points of my life. Of who I am, who I hope to be, who I don't want to be. Thinking about where I stand with other people in my life.

Every now and then I'll talk to someone who will say, "Man. I don't think I could do that." Since I don't have anything to say to that, I mutely nod a few times and then just look at them, waiting to see what they'll say next. But it's half of how I've been feeling lately. A lot of "what ifs" have been running through my head, and I've been having to remind myself that I'm supposed to be in the moment, in the present. I'm so used to spending the brunt of my time speculating or worrying about the future or obsessing about the past, that it's an odd sensation to suddenly remind myself, "Oh yeah. That hasn't happened. I'm driving to Wal*Mart, not being kidnapped."

Who am I, though? I'm the person I think people will want me to be, most of the time. I'm the good girl at church, the lewd girl with Elise, the liberal-open girl with Matt, the smart girl with teachers. Am I good, lewd, liberal or smart? Am I all of those things, and I just intensify them for those people? What wouldn't I be able to handle? Could I not handle knowing what did -or didn't- happen? Could I handle not being able to have kids? Could I handle being in a gun fight? A war? A rebellion? Could I handle being in a relationship where my spouse cheats on me? Could I handle having a child die, or be raped or abused or bullied? Could I handle the loss of a close friendship? What could- or couldn't- I handle?

In the worst of situations, what would I do? With "situational force", would I kill someone? Abuse someone? Rape someone? Steal from someone? Would I lie to them? Ignore them? What would I do? What is the worst I would do? Does that make it me? In the best of situations, what would I do? Save someone's life? Smile at them? Invite them over? Talk to them? Love them? Forgive them?

I wouldn't ever put myself as the super-hero of my own novel, but I don't think I'd place myself in the role of the super-villain either. Those secret hopes and forbidden thoughts that are rarely revealed, is that the submerging of a deep subconscious, or a momentary lapse of consciousness? Is that the part of us we are suppressing, or is it just simply not a part of us?

The real question is: Who am I?

A daughter of God
A janitor
A survivor
And a million other things.

What do those mean? Who am I?

Does what we do define who we are? If someone says something jerky, does that make them a jerk? If somebody helps somebody out, does that make them nice? What if those people are the same person? Are they nice, or are they a jerk? What about "bigger" things, like "rapists" or "sex offenders"? Maybe those titles are valid, but maybe not. 11 years after the crime, with a great amount of reformation, is that man still a rapist? No?
"But he RAPED someone!!"
"But it's been 11 years."
"But it was RAPE!"
"But he's changed."
"But it's just a part of who he is! He showed that 11 years ago."

I don't know the answer to that. What do you think? What about job titles? I'm not just a janitor, but I am a janitor. It's a part of my life, but not a part of who I inherently am. What would happen if I decided on a career that I wanted, dependent of anyone else's opinion of that career? What if I wanted to be a urologist or a sex therapist? What if I decided to study architecture or aviation? How about if I decided to be a detective or a sexual assault advocate? A brain surgeon? Let's say I had the ability to be ANYTHING! Free of guilt from knowing what other people would think of me. Who would I be?

January 19, 2008


I'm not here to say that everybody needs to live a certain way. For heaven's sake, I don't want to ring of that world in "A Wrinkle In Time" where boys bounce balls in sync. But I feel like a "recoiled monster" in Mormon Happy Valley culture. I'm almost 19. Not too old, but not too young either-- by my standards. I'm feeling rebellious and scared. I want to move to California, where I don't have to feel so ridiculously careful about what I say or do because someone may think I've done wrong by considering to be a sex therapist, or a urologist, or my concentration-- some have mispokenly said "obsession"-- with rape and sexual abuse. I don't want to live in a culture where it's a 'sin' to read "Reviving Ophelia" a book that --briefly-- addresses sexuality and sexual violence. I've been reprimanded by it, and I'm sick of that. Sigh, let me explain. I'm not angry right now. I'm just tired. Tired of living in a culture where I grew up believing it was against my religion to go to a "sex crazed" sex therapist. Tired of living in a valley where I'm thrown out for making a fight against sexual violence my crusade, simply because it has a vague connection to sex or sexuality.

I feel like I'm on tenderhooks. Whereas my parents never spoke about sex, and gave me a vague meaning when I was 9 after I asked, now they're comfortable with me suggesting I buy a book to help me understand sexuality through God's eyes, or bringing up the fact that I'm considering taking a Human Sexuality class next semester. I'm tired of being condemned for wanting to watch Dakota Fanning's movie "Hounddog" because it has a mild scene of child rape in it.

Everyone is a sexual human being. Everyone has body parts that aide a personalized sexuality. Everyone thinks about sex and sexuality. So why do we find it so hard to be the least bit open? Why are there so many words that I wouldn't dare say in front of the best of friends, but I feel fine about saying "I hurt my arm" or "Man, my head hurts"? Everyone is a sexual human being.

Like I said, I'm feeling rebellious. Ready to become a urologist just because so many men become gynecologists without a bat of an eye. Ready to learn everything about my body, and every body around me. Ready to talk with someone about sex. Ready to say something "unorthodox" simply to get the reaction I know I will. Why is it so hard to talk about when everyone has it, everyone does it, everyone is?

In Dr. Mary Pipher's book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, she speaks on the deterioration of society and how it effects young teenage girls. Impossible expectations are set on the shoulders of young women. They are bombarded with conflicting messages concerning sexuality, femininity and adulthood. Mary Pipher, as a clinical psychologist, has had the opportunity to work in therapy with a number of girls, and thus had the chance to observe the culture of America, and what pressures it has set on this generation. I plan to focus on one of the sub points of the book: abuse. Dr. Pipher writes mostly on two areas of abuse: cultural abuse, and sexual abuse. Although she speaks on sexual harassment, in this paper I will be addressing the two abuses mentioned.
Cultural abuse, a term coined by Carol Bly, encompasses “those elements in the culture that block growth and development.” ( pg. 293) Dr. Pipher tells us how America wishes to make young women what it wants them to be: quiet, kind, and feminine. One of her clients put it perfectly when she said “I'm a perfectly good carrot that everyone is trying to change into a rose. As a carrot, I have good color and a nice leafy top. When I'm carved into a rose, I turn brown and wither.” (22) Our culture wants to change us into something we're not, thus destroying the best part of ourselves.
Some of our greatest heroines are at the age just before they're to reach puberty. Heidi, Anne of Green Gables and Pippi Longstockings, all had wonderful adventures, and great personal achievements. (18) As soon as most girls reach puberty, though, they've been thrown into a hurricane. The only way to defend against the hurricane is to lose a sense of Self, and give in to society's expectations. The rules become: “be attractive, be a lady, be unselfish and of service, make relationships work and be competent without complaint.” (39) One client observed, “If I'm having a bad day, teachers and kids tell me to smile. I've never heard them say that to a guy.” (39) And while young boys may have gender-oriented phrases pushed their way once in a while, her point is made.
In Psychologist I. K. Broverman's study male and female participants were asked to check off adjectives that characterized “healthy men”, “healthy women”, and “healthy adults”. While healthy women were “described as passive, dependent, and illogical”, “healthy adults were active, independent and loyal.” By those standards, it seems “impossible to score as both a healthy adult and a healthy woman.” Society asks that we be a healthy adult woman, as they set up road blocks so we can never get there. (39)
The negative effects of media can be a wrecking-ball of confusion, when it comes to building a girl's sense of identity. It's views on sexuality, and occasionally violence, construe young girls' hormones right when they're on the edge of instability. After careful attention, a client of Dr. Pipher's noticed that “some sex scenes have scary music and some violent scenes have sexy music so that sex and violence are all mixed up.” (42) The media sells an idealized version of what a young lady should be, leaving actual young women feeling a sense of inadequacy.
The media spurs ideologies which society absorbs and then sponges into the minds of those present. The sexual harassment in the schools is an example of that. The culture those boys and girls have grown up with, (in)directly encourages these actions. Cultural abuse is seen greatly in the way adolescent women are made out to be sexual objects. Ladies are encouraged to be “sexy, but not sexual.” (240) Girls hear mixed messages as they hear that “sex is... both a sacred act between two people united by God, and the best way to sell sun tan lotion.” (71) They “receive two kinds of sex education...: one in the classroom and the other in the halls.” (206) In the schools, losing your virginity has become a “rite of passage into maturity”, even though “by high school, some girls may be mature enough to be sexually active, but [Dr. Pipher's] experience is that the more mature and healthy girls avoid sex.” (207, 208), Most girls at this age “tend to have love, sex and popularity all mixed up.” (208) It's difficult to know what you're ready for, when the world screams that you're ready. Even the National Children's Study has admitted, “Media exposure regarding sexuality- but not necessarily sexual behavior- may affect subgroup behavior.”
The media has become increasingly violent. Gore is common. Death is insignificant. Throwing a few punches is a fact of life. In the book The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families, Dr. Pipher writes more on violence. She points out that “children, including toddlers, are exposed to hundreds of examples of violence every day.” Once violence could be shown as “the tragic consequence of misunderstandings”, but it is another point all together to demonstrate violence “as a thrill, as a solution to human problems or merely as something that happens when people are slightly frustrated...” The more the media glorifies violence, the more acceptable that assault, battery, or murder seem. The more 'normal' it is, the more 'normal' it becomes. And the more afraid and protective women must become.
Women live in a dangerous world that tends to desensitize sexuality and violence. Their sense of reality is much too acute. Cultural abuse has desensitized young ladies from being who they truly are. Instead of asking young women to be the best they can be, society asks that they be what society wants them to be. In the book The Story of an African Farm, Olive Shreiner says “The world tells us what we are to be and shapes us by the ends it sets before us. To men it says, work. To us it says, seem. The less a woman has in her head, the lighter she is for carrying.” As long as young women yield to our culture's wish for them, they will remain a smaller 'burden' on the backs of this country, but they won't be able to contribute to progression, either.
The second form of abuse Mary Pipher spoke on most prevalently was sexual abuse. She knew of many cases where young women had been abused, or raped. These events often changed the lives of those ladies forever. Dr. Pipher goes to high schools and speaks to groups of girls. “The last three times [she's] spoken at a high school class, a girl has approached [Dr. Pipher] afterward to tell [her] she's been raped.” (219)
Statistics continue to increase, shocking the world. Although one in four women are raped, only sixteen percent report. Sixty percent of victims of rape are under eighteen. Thirty-two percent of young women raped are between the ages twelve and eighteen. Once when Dr. Pipher expressed a concern that a younger friend of her's would be raped, she was greeted with the reply “Do you think that hasn't happened to me before?” Eighty percent of victims knew their attacker. A rape is reported about once every five minutes. How many times a minute would calls be coming in if all women reported their assault? As Dr. Pipher looked over these figures, she proclaimed, “The newer the study, the worse the figures.” (218-219, Office of Health Education)
The effects of rape can be devastating. “Rape hurts us all, not just the victims.” (230) Women become increasingly terrified. Men must prove themselves to women. Dr. Pipher observed, “Fear changes behavior in a thousand ways- where and when young women can go places, who they talk to and where they walk, study, and live.” (219) Her oldest client for rape was in her seventies, having been raped as a teenager. Even she still had nightmares because of the experience. (219)
I once had a discussion with a male friend of mine. I talked about my fear of rape, and how, as a girl, I felt that I always had to be on the lookout. I explained to him, “A girl could look at a man sideways, and it may have been an accident, but she may have looked at just the wrong guy.” He was astounded because he had never been afraid of being attacked before. This was one of my first insights into the differences between men and women and their different ways of living with rape.
In the American culture “sex is currently associated with violence, power, domination, and status.” Young women are “surrounded by sexual violence.” There are many emotions and defenses young ladies use, once victimized. They may “become post traumatic stress victims. They experience all the symptoms-- depression, anger, fear, recurrent dreams and flashbacks.” Though in the beginning they may feel “shock, denial and dissociation”, these feelings often transfer to feeling “anger and self-blame for not being more careful or fighting back.” After rape, young women are more afraid. Nearly all of them say they have been “permanently changed.” (230)
Victims of childhood sexual abuse suffer similarly, as “adolescent issues often trigger earlier traumas.” The victims are often left on their own to “rework the abuse when they are teenagers.” Amidst their culture's expectations, and memories of a horrible past, they can easily become “mixed up about love, sex, punishment and affection. They need to erase memories of bad relationships and build ideas about good ones.” If they don't rebuild correct ideologies, they could very easily run into problems in relationships. As they grow, “issues may arise with dating”. Sexual experiences present themselves, and 'though the girl may want to be “emotionally present”, she may find it impossible to enter into a sexual relationship, finding that it causes a dissociative reaction in her. (229)
It's very important for victims of rape or abuse to let out their pain. When a client of Dr. Pipher came to her as a rape victim, she was terrified of telling her story. Mary Pipher would tell her stories of other girls who had visited her office for the same reason. After a few sessions of stories, Dr. Pipher told her client “When you cut your finger, it bleeds; you may not like blood, it's scary and messy, but fingers that are cut are supposed to bleed. That's healthy. If they don't bleed, something is wrong. What happened to you is horrible and you are going to feel a lot of pain. You won't like it, it's messy and scary, but it's part of healing. Burying the feelings will hurt more in the long run.” (222) The effects of abuse can be much like an infection. The infection must be cut open. Even though there will be a great amount of pain with the draining and the cutting of the infection, once drained and healed there is no more pain. That's the goal.
Alice Miller once said, “The results of any traumatic experience, such as abuse, can only be resolved by experiencing, articulating, and judging every facet of the original experience within a process of careful therapeutic disclosure.” The experience, articulation, and judgment are difficult and painful processes, but they lead to the greater good for the victim. There are a few victims who seem to have an “inner strength”, but for the most part many are damaged greatly. (Reader's Digest)
Dr. Pipher suggests a partial-solution. She values the treatment given for rape or abuse victims- “therapists, hospitals, rape crisis centers and support groups.” (231) But what she wishes for our culture is that we also had a preventative program- somewhere to teach men to respect women and to treat them kindly, and to teach them the horror of abuse. A study was taken in Rhode Island. Young women and young men were asked to answer when a man “has the right to have sexual intercourse with a woman without her consent.” “Eighty percent said the man had the right to use force if the couple were married, and seventy percent if the couple planned to marry. Sixty-one percent said that force was justified if the couple had had prior sexual relations. More than half felt that force was justified if the woman had led the man on. Thirty percent said it was justified if he knew that she had had sex with other men, or if he was so sexually stimulated he couldn't control himself, or if the woman was drunk.” This study revealed that at least eighty percent of these young men and young women didn't understand that no one ever has the right to force sex. (206) Dr. Pipher's suggestion of a “preventive program” could be extremely helpful if ever put to use. Not only do women need to learn how to avoid dangerous situations, but men need to learn what is and is not appropriate.
Looking through the lens of Mary Pipher, abuse is as deadly as a dose of cyanide, but we have the antidote. Choosing to take the antidote after being poisoned by the effects of cultural or sexual abuse, young women can become fulfilled, emotionally self-sufficient adults. Although the statistics are against young ladies of the era, there are ways to avoid, to minimize or to transfer a risk. There are ways to heal, and become the best young woman they can be!





References:
Pipher, Mary, 1994. Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
Pipher, Mary, 1996. The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families
Safran, 1989. “Kids Who Beat the Odds”, Reader's Digest
Schreiner, 1999. The Story of an African Farm
Brainy Quote, Alice Miller, 2006
http://www.brainyquote.com/quo...

National Children's Study, Jan. 2004, http://www.nationalchildrensst...

Office of Health Education, 2004
http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/ohe/...